Many times your talent is right under your nose, but ignored.
Not so much ignored but not acknowledged either. Or you just have a blind eye to it. Which I did and had until recently.
During my younger years I thought I was going to be the next Picasso – yes! I was an artist, entered several art shows, won prizes and at one time had an art gallery. Things changed of course, I got married, changed careers …
But at one art show I exhibited a pairing of a bass player. I remember when I painted it. It was in the throws of witter in a small town called Solon, Maine. A friend of mine rented out a room in her home where I could paint – a studio. I loved it. So my bass player looked like he was playing outside under the warmth of the sun looking very sultry as he played.
A man walked up to the painting and jokingly turned to his friend and loudly said “Looks very phallic to me”. I heard what he said (he used a more descriptive word than that) and I was embarrassed and mortified. I immediately hated that painting and spent the next few years trying to get rid of it. I finally gave it to a couple who loved it. It hangs in their home.
So for years I suppressed my art. I know what you’re thinking – how could I let someone’s comments keep me from creating. It’s simple. I was insecure and at that time in my life the opinions and praise from others were important. So much, the negative feedback killed my desire to paint.
Perhaps you can relate to this, yes?
That was years ago. The urge to create haunted me …
This is now:
The desire to create art again has been a non-stop whirlwind of thoughts swirling about with ideas and images. So one evening I sat down with a hot cup of tea next to me to sip, I viewed some art work I had done sporadically over the past year. And there it was.
I always thought I didn’t have any “style” of creating. Worse – my art was crap, I thought. Picasso had a way of creating, Modigliani did, Monet, Manet did – they all did. When I looked at my drawings and collages I saw a style starting to emerge and THAT was thrilling to me, something that was innately me. It may not come out perfect like what I imagined – but what did come out was a consistent style of me and my way of creating.
I was blind to what I was producing until I took a real look at what I had already created.
I’m sharing this with you because we are unknowingly influenced by others – sometimes hurting us so bad, so deeply, we never pursue what we love for fear of rejection and criticism.
I’m just grateful for the discovery now at this time in my life.
To get to this point though, I had to give up to gain the emotional and mental space to ponder and discover. In other words – the distractions, the activities I was choosing to do were blocking – keeping me from what my heart wanted to do – create.
So it all boils down to listening to your inner voice, ignoring the negative chatter in your mind, and being grateful that nothing has been lost. You just pick up where you left off in a stronger place. It’s all there, right under my nose. I just had to look and understand what matters most is being true to myself.